


Ghost Soldier

by Dagnabbit



Series: The Life and Times of Jane Doe [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Eventual Sex, Greek Mythology - Freeform, M/M, Making Out, Romance, Romantic Fluff, WWII, artistic liberty, if you can think of something I didnt let me know, life after death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3289943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dagnabbit/pseuds/Dagnabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok, the sequel that hopefully everyone's been waiting for. That's right, I mean you guys. All two of ya :)<br/>Jane suffers an accident due to some meddling, and Dell has to think of something to save him!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ghost on the Prarie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MisSuzyQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisSuzyQ/gifts).



Morning light strewn over the blankets of Dell Conagher’s bed. The BLU Engineer slept, lightly snoring, one leg hanging off the bed out from under the covers. Smiling in his sleep, Dell was dreaming of walking under the moon, arm in arm with Jane, as a little furry helicopter followed them, green light spilling on the ground from it. Floating in the stars.

“I love you, Dell...I’ve always loved you, and ever since I met you, I knew you were for me…”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEE-SMACK! Dell knocked his alarm clock off the desk next to his little twin bed. It hit the floor and ceased its noise. Dell let out an exasperated breath. It was such a beauty of a dream….

He sat up, and rubbed his eyes with his non-mechanical hand. It was a nice morning. The window was hanging open, and a light puff of wind stirred his curtain. Dell smiled again. It was another great day in Hoodoo on the prairie. He saw the sunlight spilling onto the floor of his toolshed, and since it was springtime, he could smell the desert flowers on the wind. He took a deep breath and decided it was time to get out of bed.

It was a shame to be sleeping alone, but he had decided to take it slow in getting into a relationship with Jane. As far as Dell knew, only his closest friends knew he had fallen hard for Soldier, and that Soldier loved him back. For the most part, everyone was accepting of it, and didn’t even give it a second thought. Dell was grateful for this and it made him feel lucky to have such understanding friends.

As it was his first serious relationship, Dell was suddenly feeling less than sure of himself. He didn’t want to screw this up. He never wanted anything more in his life than to be with Jane. The man meant everything in the world to him.

After taking a shower, shaving, and putting on some cologne, he threw on underclothes and tucked everything into his overalls as he pulled on his blue shirt. “Damn, Dell Conagher, you are one good-lookin’ man,” he said to himself, and smiled in the mirror. He took a certain pride in his looks, and even if his workshop was a mite cluttered, he was always clean. At least before battle, anyway. He threw his jacket on over the top, and grabbed his boots and brown cowboy hat as he headed out the door.

Breakfast time in the mess hall was usually quiet, until the guys got their coffee in them. Dell wasn’t any different mostly, but nowadays everyone noticed a happier Engineer.

They guessed that it had to do with his luck on the draw, his skill with his guns, and his dependability as Team Engineer. He must have had a heck of a winning streak. Dell didn’t even care about that anymore.

He had Jane’s heart, now. Through a mess of unfortunate circumstances that he and his friends overcame together, he managed to help Jane overcome the death (and rebirth) of his pet raccoon, the former Lieutenant Bites. Now the cybernetic clone Lieutenant Butler, a robot of Dell’s own creation with a unique battery, titanium design and rebuilt DNA structure by the Team Medic, was Jane’s constant companion and his anchor in reality.

Dell whistled as he strode into the mess and walked up to the serving bar in front of the prep room. He reached over to grab the electric percolator to pour a cup, but it was empty.

“Hey, boys? There’s’ no coffee in th’ pot…”

“MRRPH MRRRPH MRRPH!” Pyro ran around the side of the table as Scout threw a sack of flour at him, the Pyro ducked, and the flour hit Dell square in the chest, exploding on impact. White powder sifted down as Scout and Pyro guffawed laughter at each other and Dell.

“What-! Gosh darn it all to heck! You boys know y’aint supposed to clown around in th’ kitchen!”

“Oh, ha ha ha! Are you all “white” Engie? Haw! You look like a spook!” The Scout was dying of laughter. The Pyro wasn’t any help either, his respirator mask blowing out puffs of flour as he hooted.

“Oh I’ll show you a spook, boy!” Dell growled. “Hombre, I’m gonna make you inta’ one!” and he set his jaw. He started after Scout, but he lost traction in the flour and fell on his butt. Pyro leapfrogged off of Dell’s back in a puff of flour and chased the Scout through the kitchen with a whisk.

 “Mrph! Mryrrph mrph!”

“Pancakes, yeah!”

They disappeared back into the prep room.

“Y’all can’t make hotcakes without flour, dag-nabbit,” Dell fumed. He stood up and started to brush the flour off of his jacket and took off his hat to beat the powder off of it. Suddenly, he heard the familiar bootfalls of a certain mercenary, and his back stiffened and he felt a hot flush rise from his neck to his ears.

“Good morning, Engie! Jane said cheerfully. His raccoon was perched on his shoulder, but as soon as Lieutenant Butler saw the Texan he jumped from Jane’s shoulder and launched his rotors, and flew over to Dell, chirruping excitedly.

“Aww, heck, Jane! Y’all caught me playing in the mess hall,” Dell said, grinning through the flour. He could feel his ears burning, but the flour kept his blush from showing. He kept wiping at it though, and the Lieutenant began dusting Dell off with his tail as he hovered around the flustered Engineer.

“You are out of uniform, soldier!” Jane said, smiling, looking at Dell. He reached out and pulled Dell close to him.

“Uh, excuse me, Jane. I’m terribly sorry, I need to get changed out of these duds and ready for work. It’ll just be a secon’” Dell was flustered and embarrassed. It was hard to be smooth with five pounds of flour sifting off of your clothes. Dell hurried out of the room. The raccoon hovered back over to Jane and landed on his shoulder whistling. Jane looked confused. All he wanted was to touch Dell again.

Dell stormed back into his toolshed and ripped his jacket off over his head, kicking his boots to the side. His vacuum robot came out of hiding and started cleaning up the powder, even as Dell was kicking off his overalls and heading for his private shower.

He was so mad and flustered after running into Jane that he wished he had Scout and Pyro here to kick squarely in the ass. Turning on the water, Dell hissed as the water came out cold as ice, then hot as coffee (which he still hadn’t had yet). He certainly did not want Jane to see him looking like a fool. Those darn kids and their stupid games…

“Dell?” There was a knock at the bathroom door. Dell hollered back.

“Gimme me a minute, please!” He hurried to rinse off the mess.

The door opened. Dell’s eyes widened. “Hey! I said gimme a minute! I’m tryin’ ta get cleaned up now!”

Jane poked his head in the curtain.

“Hello again!”

Dell screeched at him. “GIT OUT O’ HERE GOD-DAMNIT!”

“Lieutenant Butler let me in,” Jane said, defensively.

“”Ya mean you had him pick the locks! I know damn well what that critter is capable of!”

“All I just wanted to say was good morning…” Jane said, sulking and pulling his head back through the curtains. He certainly didn’t mind seeing Dell naked in the shower. Why was Dell being so frugal with himself? Jane felt ashamed to have caused the engineer discomfort.

Dell heard the door close.

He hurried and finished his shower, grabbed his towel and opened the bathroom door. The only sign of anyone being in the toolshed was the white boot prints that Jane had tracked to the door. The floor robot was vacuuming up each one. Dell let out a sigh with a smile.

There was a big cup of hot black coffee on the table, with a daisy next to it. Dell went to the table and took a sip. Ah, two sugars from his soldier. Dell blew out over the cup, picked up the white flower, and went back to the little bedroom to get a new outfit.

“I sure hope he didn’t take it th’ wrong way,” Dell said to himself. Before he left for the second time, he put the daisy in a little tin can of water in the window.

……………………………………….

“I don’t understand, Lieutenant Butler!” Jane sat on an oil drum next to one of the many sheds in the Hoodoo Map. The raccoon looked up at him, green eyes shining. “I keep trying to be with him, but he always seems to find something he’d rather be doing. I don’t know what to do.”

The little raccoon robot blinked at the Soldier. He cocked his head and looked curiously at Jane.

“I wish there was some way I could show him how much he means to me.” Jane frowned down at his boots. Lieutenant Butler put his little paws on Jane’s knee and continued to watch Jane’s face.

“Some way to hold him again. I want to hold him close, and squeeze him, just like I squeeze you,”

The raccoon smiled at Jane. “oo,” he said.

Jane did a double take. “Lieutenant Butler! You can talk!”

“oo! oo cayn talk!” The robotic raccoon smiled at Jane.

“Wow! Hah hah! Just wait until I show you to Dell! He will be so surprised to see you talk! You can help me break the ice! Let’s go, Lieutenant! We have a wall to break down!” Jane laughed, and he jumped off the barrel and ran back to Engie’s toolshed, the raccoon hovering right behind him.

When he got to the shed though, he realized that Dell wasn’t in there. He looked in the window, and saw the mess had been cleaned up. The flower he picked was in the can though, and Jane smiled. Dell did care, after all! Jane turned around, searching the ground for more flowers. Lieutenant Butler was already ahead of Jane and held up two more daisies, one in each paw. “Thanks again, soldier!” Jane put the two other daisies in the can.

“oo!”

He picked up the Lieutenant and then headed for the Respawn room. The day’s battle was about to begin.

……………………………..

Dell knew he was avoiding Jane, but he didn’t realize it was confusing him. He had been so cool and collected when pursuing the man, but once he had him, he didn’t know what to do with him. Dell sighed. He never thought he’d say it, but when Jane was having a mental breakdown, the Engineer at least had a problem to tackle. Now that there wasn’t one, Dell was unsure of where he fit in. He loved the man dearly, but how do you express said emotion?

At the Supply, the BLU’s were getting ready to push the bomb. Hoodoo was a pain in the ass to fight, as the RED team defended against the bomb advancing. Dell was packing up his equipment when Jane finally caught up with him.

“Engie!”

“Oh, hey, Solly!” Dell smiled at the Soldier. The rest of the team started to file in, collecting their weapons and hats.

Dell tried to stay in the back. As defense he was usually last out the door, to set up teleporters and level one sentries to cover the Supply. Jane stayed in the back too, to continue his story.

“Guess what? Lieutenant Butler can talk now!” Jane said, smiling.

“Oh, yeah? I was wonderin’ when that lil’ critter would be getting his speech recognition workin’. Where is the lil guy?”

“I keep him in the Respawn, he waits for me there during battle now,” Jane said. After the late Lieutenant Bites was stolen from Jane, he wasn’t taking any chances with his little Butler.

“Well, that’s nice,” Dell said. There was an awkward silence.

“Engie?”

“Yes Solly?”

The Soldier got closer to Dell. Really, really close to Dell. Dell’s heart jumped up into his throat, and he started to sweat.

“I sure wish we could hold each other,” Jane said, under his breath.

“Um…”Dell was so flustered. Why had he suddenly lost his cool? It was so much easier when Jane was distracted, and Dell could be there by his side, giving thoughtful, loving advice and saying the right thing.

“We could hold each other like we did that night. Under the stars,” Jane had a pleading note in his voice. Dell was shaking nervously. He wanted that too, so badly. It was his most magical moment, it haunted every thought.

“START FIGHTING NOW!” the Announcer gave voice to the opening bell, and the game was on. Dell grabbed his equipment and yelled, “Giddyup! Yeeee Haww!!”

Jane watched the engineer take off out into the map. He followed him.

 


	2. Ghost Rider in the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dell finally has a breakthrough, but at what cost to him?

The battle was uphill, and the BLU team met heavy opposition almost from the start of the gate. Dell built his gun and ran ahead quickly, trying to make it far enough ahead of the team to erect a teleporter in a covered, secret spot.

Dell was immersed in his work. This battle was going to be different today. He stayed ahead of his team, but on the sidelines out of the main fight, and kept his teleporters moving for his team to get to the battle faster from Respawn. He thought about Jane and promised himself to allow time to talk to the man, and see where their conversations might go.

It had been so easy up until now. What a conundrum he had. He knew it was just his own hang-ups.

As he worked on his machines, he missed the fact that he was not totally undetected.  The Red spy watched the engineer working. As he cloaked himself to continue his observations further, he put out his cigarette, with an evil smile on his face.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Dell looked off into the distance. A storm was gathering when the battle advanced to Thunder Mountain.

…………………………………..

 

Pyro and Scout stuck together like glue, the Pyro covering the Scout as they leapt through the first gates and climbed the tower to fight the REDS and get to the cart. Lighting started to flash between heavy thunderclaps, and the rain started to pour down.

“Mrph!” Mrph mrrph!” Pyro was looking up at the sky as he and Scout tore around the corner ahead of the team, to battle the RED team.

“Yeah, I know, I know! We gotta keep pushing tho, Py! Th’ rain won’t get us if we hurry up!” Scout had his bat in one hand and pistol in the other, jumping off of his buddy’s tank and into the fray. Pyro ran faster, whipped out his flare gun, and started to launch fire at the oncoming REDs.

“Ya know, you’re a nutjob, Py! Afraid of a little rainstorm!” Scout bashed a RED Heavy in the head and shot him twice in one bound. Pyro lit him up and kept following the Scout.

Pyro didn’t mind, he thought Scout was crazy for not seeing the pure rainbow-storm coming. He knew how much Scout loved rainbows. He clapped his hands in excited anticipation as a huge thunderclap shook the decrepit buildings. It was going to be a beautiful, colorful storm!

………………………………………

 

That last rumble in the sky didn’t shake up Dell too much, but he had an enemy Demo lobbing explosives in his direction. A huge explosion off to his right flank stopped the deadly shower of shrapnel. Well, the drunkard probably blew himself up, luckily, Dell thought. When the first fat raindrops came, the Engineer started looking for an overhang to put his dispenser. He didn’t have long before the rain came down sideways in sheets.

Dell got his third shower of the day. As he ran down a ramp between buildings, a huge gust of wind blew through the area, swept his prized hat away and knocked the Engineer down in the mud. He was far from his home base and private shower.

“Damn it, damnit, damnit!” Dell shakily picked himself up and started to look furtively for his cowboy hat. Visibility was low, and he could barely see past his hands as the rain poured down relentlessly. Suddenly, a shadow was dropping out of the sky and Dell cringed, expecting an enemy RED. He pulled out his pistol and started firing randomly at the blur stalking towards him.

“Help!” Dell cried, reaching for his wrench.

“I am here to help,” a familiar voice in the rain shouted towards him. Dell stopped flailing and looked hard at the figure approaching. It was Jane! His soldier had dropped down in front of him from a rocket jump, holding Dell’s hat.

“Jane! Whoo hoo! I am so happy to see ya!” Dell said, taking his hat from Jane. He was so tired from fighting alone ahead of the rest of his team. Jane smiled down at his little cowboy. Dell looked quite messy, mud on his backside and his hat dripping.

Dell knew he was dirty, again, in front of his boyfriend, but he didn’t expect anyone to stay dry in this squall. The soldier was wet from the rain, the water barely missing his eyes from the bill of his cap, and his coat and trousers were adhered to his chest. His whiskers were soaked, but instead of making him look like a drowned kitten, Dell saw a tiger in a swimming hole.

“If it weren’t for the glow of your teleporters we wouldn’t be ahead in the war!” Jane’s stoic, grizzled face seemed to soften as he spoke to Dell with pride.” And, I know that you did this mostly for me, to keep me out of the enemy’s sight. I’ve been following you though, and blasting every RED I see to keep you safe,”

Dell was swelling with pride. Usually no one noticed when the Engineer went out of his way to get his team ahead. But his soldier had been protecting him, following him, and keeping him safe, sheltering him in the storm against the hail of enemy gunfire. He smiled at the thought of Jane storming through the rain, bashing in the REDs as he protected his little engineer.

Without even thinking, he grabbed Jane around the neck and pulled him in for a kiss. It was a surprise to both, as Dell had never kissed anyone before, and Jane was not expecting it. All they had ever done was hold each other and speak about sweet nothings, heart’s desires, and all sorts of nonsense. Dell was kind of old-fashioned that way.

Dell felt Jane’s lips on his, and a hot-chilly feeling rushed from the base of his stomach to the top of his head, spreading like wildfire on the prairie. He felt a stupid grin spread over his face as he tentatively pulled back and looked at his soldier.

Jane was surprised, but so very pleased from Dell’s sudden warmth and the kiss was almost too much.  He felt the tightness in his shoulders uncoil, and his chest seemed to swell with a new, fiercer feeling, a hunger he never had in such urgency. Dropping his launcher to let it hang off of his back, he quickly grabbed Dell in his arms and pulled him under the eaves of one of the sheds and hugged him close. He inhaled, and smelled all the wonderful scents that came off of Dell’s coat, the rain, the sweat, the heat, cologne, oil and gunpowder, and a deep rumbling came from his chest as he exhaled in acquiescence.

Jane wiggled his chin into Dells’ neck, while Dell squirmed under the tickly feeling of the soldier’s rough beard. Dell was dizzy from the scent of battle coming off of Jane, the smoke from his rockets, Jane’s own musk from the power every pore exuded. Dell felt Jane’s mouth on his neck, his teeth lightly nipping, and just about lost it.

“Engie,” Jane whispered. Dell felt his legs go all weak like a newborn foal. ”I love you so much! I will protect you forever. I’d die for you.”

“And the same goes fer’ me too,” Dell shuddered, breathlessly against Jane’s fuzzy face. The rain poured down.

“Let’s get away this weekend, I have so much to say to you,” Jane caressed Dell’s back, and Dell did the same, feeling the hard muscles flex under Jane’s wet, heavy wool jacket. Dell’s hands went up under the coat to stroke Jane’s lats, and Jane felt the fire spread from every trickle of water off of Dell’s fingertips. Dell’s hands went to Jane’s belt loops, and pulled the soldiers’ hips into his.

“So much I wanna say,” Jane sighed, a low, growly sigh that gave Dell an almost uncontrollable desire to get this soldier alone. Dell knew how much his body language said. He agreed with every unspoken word.

“Jest you, me, an’ my truck,” Dell whispered, and kissed Jane again.

The Red Spy had seen enough. Those two were lovers! He immediately knew the Engineer’s weak spot. He had an inkling before, from their last fateful meeting, but the Spy was nothing if not a malicious, malevolent enemy. His grin got even wider.

“Zat gibbering buffoon! Zat smug, wrench-swinging amputee! ‘E will see who has ze last laugh!”

The Red Spy melted into the rainy shadows, heading toward the BLU Respawn outbuilding.

 

………………………………………………..

 

 

“We canna take the BLU team down, lad!” the RED Demo said to his Medic. The young German took his Vaccinator out of his locker and walked over to the Demoman, snapping his gloves as his heels clicked on the floor. “Their Engineer has a spirit a’haunting him, I canna get any closer! And even with my one eyeball, I never saw a point so hard to defend!”

“Ve shall see. I vill start charging you, by ze time we get to the front lines, ve should be ready for any attack” The RED Medic lowered his gun at the Demo, and the Scotsman felt the healing radiation from the Vaccinator refresh his tissues, even though he had just stepped out of the RED Respawn. “Only complete drunkards and idiots believe in ghosts,” Medic sniffed, looking over his spectacles at the Demo, who was already quite smashed from drink.

“Och, I’m telling you, he’s got a spook protectin’ him,” The Demo tipped back his bottle, drank deeply, and charged out the door. He knew just where the BLU team was teleporting to.

………………………………….

 

The storm blew hard, and Jane finally stopped distracting Dell enough when they heard the Announcer counting down. Jane pulled away from Dell.

“I-I need to go,” Jane said. Dell nodded, grinning like a fool. Jane turned away and with a nod to his love, straightened his clothes and blasted off. Dell watched in amazement. The man wasn’t even scared of uncontrolled flight. It never ceased to give Dell the jitters thinking about all of the frightening stuff the wildcard soldier did when in battle. He exhaled. Damn, he was sure hot and bothered. He almost couldn’t get his train of thought moving again.

Dell turned around to pick up his dispenser and move it closer to his teleporter. As he gathered up the toolbox, he heard a small explosion and turned around. Off in the distance, he could see a RED Demo with his Medic fast approaching. He quickly put the dispenser down and recalled his sentry with his PDA from the last point he had it.

He threw down the toolbox that kept his sentry, and rushed through the set-up, the dispenser slowly whirring as he built up the sentry’s level. The Demo hadn’t seen him, had he? Dell looked up and the RED team was out of sight. Perhaps Jane had gotten to them first.

He checked behind him to see his teleporter flash, someone on his team was coming through. All of the sudden, red canisters rolled on the floor under his feet. He heard the warning sound of the Sentry tracking enemies when the first explosion knocked him down. He saw Jane appear on the teleporter.

Jane’s face was surprised, shocked, and Dell knew he was in trouble when the second explosion destroyed his sentry. But it was too late, Dell was fading…fading. He saw Jane launch rocket after rocket at the shielded pair, and he knew that he and his lover were doomed on this round. Thank God for the Respawn, Dell thought, as the darkness swallowed up his light.

 

 


	3. Ghost in the Machine

“Hey, stop, man! Ow ow ow OW OW STAHP!” Scout shouted. He and the Pyro were snapping towels at each other in the Respawn. Pyro was first out and had his suit and mask on before anyone saw him. It was downright spooky how fast that boy could move when his identity was at risk. The only one who knew anything about the firebug seemed to be the Scout, who had befriended him on his first day.

Scout had two towels and was trying and failing to get the Pyro’s, who had taken to snapping any bare skin on Scout as soon as his back was turned. Heavy and Medic were already done getting their gear ready, and the Heavy watched the two young men horsing around, disinterestedly. Medic gave them a cursory glance as he reloaded his syringes.

Lieutenant Butler was prancing back and forth between the two, chirruping excitedly. The little robotic raccoon was excited that his favorite new friends were playing with each other. He certainly didn’t mind waiting for Jane to come through as often as he did, and usually the whole team would pass through Respawn several times a day, so he was never alone very long.

A crackling sound that spread an ozone-laden smell stopped the BLU team in their respective positions. That sound didn’t seem normal. Medic quickly put his weapons aside and strode over to the computer in front of the Respawn chamber.

Smoke started to trail upwards from the seal around the container. Medic peered over the dashboard and saw movement inside the chamber. Suddenly, the lights went out.

“Hey!”

“MRRPH!”

“Docktor?”

“It is ok, comrades…” Medic responded, “Everyone stay vere you are. Pyro? Be a good fellow, if you please…”

“Mrph.” The room lit up from Pyro’s flamethrower. He backed off the fuel though, to make it last, and then only the pilot light shone. It cast enough light to see in the gloom. Lieutenant Butler’s eyes shone green and cast a little extra light on the ground. Medic strode over to the plexiglass door. He could see the Engineer inside, laying on the floor.

“Heavy! Assistance bitte!”

The Heavy responded quickly to Medics’ urgent tone. He grabbed the sealed door and popped it off the chamber without much effort. Medic bent down and gently shook Dell’s shoulders.

“Engineer? Are you feeling vell? Vake up, mein lieber Freund!”

Dell groaned. Mere moments ago he was in the dark, floating, timeless, weightless, but aware. The Respawn always humbled the worldly Texan.

“What happened, Doc?” Dell sat up, and the Scout tossed a towel to him. Dell stood shakily. He noticed the clear plastic door Heavy held in his hands. If the chamber was broke-

“Hey! What’s the idea of breakin’ the Respawn equipment? We are at war, y’know!”

“Liebling, ze power is out,” Medic explained. “Ve couldn’t just leave you in zhere,”

“Did everyone come back yet?” Dell asked. He started looking from face to face. “Did anyone see Jane?” This time with a tinge of fear. He hated the cold bolt of anxiety that took hold of his heart.

“Who?” Scout said.

“Jane! Jane Doe! You knucklehead, Soldier! Did anyone see Solly?”

“Nope,” said the Scout. “Mrph.” Pyro shook his head quickly and looked left, then right. Dell looked wide-eyed at Heavy and Medic. Heavy looked down and Medic shook his head.

“Well we need to get this thing runnin’!” Dell looked up at the lights. “How long’s the power been out?”

“Two, maybe three minutes,” Scout said, dressing in a hurry and lacing his shoes. Dell turned to the Pyro. “Can I borrow your torch?”

“Mrph” Pyro passed his flamethrower to Dell. The pilot light burned fiercely.

“We gotta get the generators up…” Dell started to cough. Medic took a closer look at the Engineer.

“Are you feeling ok, Herr Conagher?” the Medic asked, his visage changing from that of friend to clinical physician in the span of seconds.

  _Is he still alive?_ Dell felt dizzy and started to fall. The Medic caught him and Heavy carried him to the bench.

“Oh, God. Oh God!” Dell held his head in his hands. He coughed again. Medic felt his forehead.

“It zeems you are running a fever,” He put his healing gun on Dell. He started to feel better and tried to stand up, but Medic looked at Heavy, and Heavy put his hand on Dell’s shoulder.

“It is best that you take it slow,” Medic said.

“We don’t have th’ time! We need to find Jane!”

Suddenly, the bay door to Respawn opened, and the BLUE Sniper and Demo came in.

“There ya are!” The BLU Demo said.

“The white flag is up on the RED battlements,” the Sniper told Medic.

“Interesting. It zeems that zhey are having power failure too?”

“Naw, that ain’t it,” Dell said. He took his clothes from Pyro who stepped away. “The Respawn is offline. I gotta fix it, somehow. We need to find the problem, but first, we need to fine Jane,” He searched his toolbox and produced a flashlight, and handed the Pyro back the flamethrower.

Scout pushed his way in front of the other mercs. “I’ll go!” he said.

“Mrph! M’mrph!” Pyro jumped up, and thumped his chest twice.

“Be careful out zhere,” the Medic cautioned them. “Without ze machine, well, you could spend a lot of time being, well, dead.”

Scout, whose eyes had gotten really wide at that statement, shook it off. “Outta here!” He ran, and Pyro was right behind him.

Dell watched the boys until the door rolled down. He looked back to Medic and Heavy, then to the floor. “I guess I need to get to work. It sure is dark in here,” He quickly pulled his overalls on and threw on his shirt. The cough came back.

“Oh dear! It seems you have caught a cold,” Medic tut-tutted. Dell wasn’t sure. “I did get a trifle moist out there in the storm,” he said, hurrying towards the bay door. The Medic followed, stuffing health packs in Dell’s bib.

“Listen, Dell. You need to keep zhese with you and take them when you feel ze fever overtaking you, ja?”

“Well, why don’t you heal me with your health gun?” Dell asked impatiently. He needed to get to the emergency generators quickly, and was getting impatient with the hovering doctor.

“You have a virus. It has its own DNA. It is not in ze system to repair. Even if ze system was online it vill take you at least seven or eight days to get over it under your own power.” Medic explained. He patted Dell on the shoulder. “Take zhese and call me in the morning, Hoo hoo! I’ve always vanted to say this!”

Heavy rolled his eyes.

…………………………………………

Scout and Pyro trotted along the sides of the map, looking for smoke, footprints, anything that would give away the location of Jane Doe. The rain still poured, and the Pyro was having a hard time concentrating on the task of finding Soldier.

“Will you hurry up, Py? Seriously, I shoulda left you in there with that buncha old fogeys!”

“Mrph mrph mrrrph.”

“Ok, but they are older than us. And they are fogeys. Comon! We need ta’ find the Soldier!”

Pyro shook his finger at Scout, mimicking a scolding parent. He didn’t like it when Scout was rude to the rest of his team.  He hustled after the Scout but then a dazzling flash of rainbows in the sky made him look up. Then, he smacked into the Scout, knocking him into a ravine.

“Aahhh! Help!” Scout said, clinging to everything his hands touched, but not breaking his fall.  The Pyro watched the hapless friend slide down the gravel. Finally the boy skidded to a stop.

“Hey, Captain Klutz! You wanna give me a hand?”

“Mrrph!” Pyro ran off.

Scout frowned up at the sky as the rain pelted him. He shivered. It was dark in the ravine. He reached into his messenger bag and pulled out his Sun-on-a-Stick. The light was cast over the ground and he noticed dark splotches along the bank that formed as the rivulets of water created a small stream. Looked like blood.

“Mrrrph!!!” Scout glanced back up and saw his buddy jumping off the side and paratrooping down on top of him! Pyro landed directly on top of Scout and knocked his tenacious grip off the little purchase he had, and the two slid down the gravel slope.

Scout struggled with his hands and legs tangled up with the playful Pyro, who, as he wore a rubber suit, didn’t feel any pain from the gravel ride. Scout had serious road rash.

“Ahhgh! Ow! God, man, Pyro what are you thinking! Damn!”

“Mrph mr-rprh,”

“Yeah, you better be sorry,” Scout picked up his stick again and cast the light over the dark splotches of blood. The blood swirled in the water and ran with it, down the embankment and into a culvert pipe. Pyro shivered and wrung his gloved hands. “Mrph myrph.”

“Could be anybody’s blood. You know, REDs. Or ours,” Scout started to follow the trail into the dark culvert. “Or it could have been a deer, ya know, animals sometimes. Heck I’ve seen Demo blow birds outta the air,” The trail went deeper into the dark, cavelike pipe… Scout’s mouth ran faster, and the Pyro noticed a tremor in the boy’s voice.

“Or ketchup, ya know, that fat Russian likes eatin’ steak, every hour of the day, ‘cause he’s fat, and this would be the perfect place to eat a steak with ketchup, in a stanky, dark culvert pipe, ya know, like this one here. Especially, like if you were covered in….”

The light touched a piece of BLU clothing. Soaking in blood.

“AAAGH!” Scout jumped up on top of Pyro, who caught the kid in his arms. They looked closer at the tattered piece of cloth. It looked like a corner of Jane’s wool jacket.

Scout cleared his throat.

“We need’ta take this back. Uh, Py? Do you see anything else down here?” The Pyro cast about, looking in every darkened area while the Scout picked up the bit of clothing.

“Mrrph.” The Pyro nodded his head, and held up a knife.

 

…………………………………

 

Dell walked into the basement of the generator building, hanging on to the wall to keep his balance. His strength was fading fast.  The little raccoon robot was right beside him, lighting the gloom with glowing green eyes.

“Thank goodness I got you, son,” Dell said to the robot, and he paused to get his strength back. Coughing, he lifted the torch and looked around the bay.

There was reflective tape on the sides of the doors that indicated caution. “I suppose that the generators are this way, Butler,” he told the raccoon. Lieutenant Butler chittered at Dell. He smiled at the critter, but he felt so weak. The walk had felt like miles.

He finally made it to generator room and found the breaker to shunt the power. His fever kept coming back, and when he felt dizzy, he took the pills Medic gave him. The thought of Jane, his brave soldier lost in the storm, kept him going. He did not want to fail him.

As he flipped the switch, he noticed a movement off in the corner of the newly-lit bay.  Immediately, he withdrew his pistol. Lieutenant Butler dispatched his rotors and hovered near Dell’s head, eyes focused in the corner.

“We are at a truce, here, and now,” Del stated in a matter-of-fact voice. “Friend, or foe?”

The BLU Spy Tristan dropped his invisibility cloak. “Friend,” he said hastily.

“What’cha doin’ out here, Tristan?” Dell smiled weakly at the Spy. Butler, landing gently on the ground, chittered at the young Spy and climbed up his pant leg until the Spy petted him and put him down on the ground. Tristan was held in high regards by Dell, even if he was a younger man. He was professional, and knowledgeable of many things, but always seemed unsure of himself. He really pulled through for Dell though, in his hour of need.

“I am hunting ze RED spy,” Tristan said, his voice low.

“What?” Dell whispered in surprise, instinctively casting his eyes everywhere in every corner. Dell’s worst enemy. Every BLU’s worst enemy. The RED Spy was a complete bastard, and Dell never forgot, nor forgave.

“I saw ‘im come zis way, and then I followed, but I lost him,” Tristan whispered. Dell coughed.

“Dammit-to-hell. HEY!” Dell shouted to the empty bay room. “RED team, the truce has been called, the Respawn is down. There has been a cease-fire, ya hear?”

Tristan glared at Dell. “What did you go ahead and do zat for? You practically gave him our location!”

“It don’t matter none, and Respawn is down. He’d be stupid to continue tryin’ ta kill us.” Dell coughed. His skin was clammy. Tristan became concerned for Dell.

“Do ‘ou have any more health packs, Engineer?”

“Naw, I’m done, I need to sit down a spell, I think…” Dell’s eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed on the floor. Butler started pawing at the Engineer’s chest, chattering concern.

Tristan froze. He heard footfalls fast approaching. He stood up and pulled out his weapon and stood in front of Dell and Butler.

“En garde!!”

“Whoot! Stand down, Frenchie-man! I’m looking for Dell!” Scout shouted, running at top speed towards the Spy, Pyro close behind.

Dell lay on the floor, shivering. He heard voices, but his eyes wouldn’t focus. It was so cold in here.

“Aww Jeeze! He needs the Doc!”

“We need to get him back to ze Respawn,”

“Mrrph!!

Dell lost consciousness.

…………………………….

 

Jane didn’t know where he was.

It was dark, and he was floating. It was nice, but he had no idea what his purpose was. What was his name?

“Jane. I’m Jane. Where am I?”

_A Void. The Void. Purgatory of sorts._

“Who is that? Is it me?”

_I’m you. I’m moral sense of you, your thoughts, your feelings, anything. Nothing._

“Merasmus? Merasmus, you are me? I always thought you were my invisible friend when I was a kid. Why would I talk to myself?”

_Moral sense. I am your conscience thought. You are alive, and dead_.

Jane pondered that information. The voice remained silent.

“Why can’t I see you?”

_There is no light here._

“Why is there no light?”

_Only with love is there light. Love doesn’t exist in this place_.

“But I have love!”

Light shone out of Jane, powerful, bright, warm light, and he was the center of it.

_Indeed, you have strong love. You brought it into the Void._

“I love Dell. I LOVE DELL!”

 The light became fierce, and Jane saw a greenish foggy substance in the bright nothingness. “Merasmus?”

_Moral sense. Yes?_

“I want to be with Dell. How can I be with him?”

_You need a body._

“I have one.” Jane held up his hands that instantly materialized into view. He followed up his arms and looked down his chest as his whole body materialized with uniform. “I was wearing this when I died.”

“How do I get to Dell?”

_Just love him, you will be there._

Dell. Jane loved so much the thought of his little Engineer. His being ached with the need to be in Dell’s light. And there was an intense force pulling at his energy.

“Merasmus! I’m going!”

_Not for long_.

……………………………..

Dell was in Respawn, on a stretcher that Medic had provided. With the help of Heavy, Medic had gotten Dell on the stretcher and wheeled him next to a dispenser. The little machine started radiating healing energy, which provided some relief from the viral infection. Medic put an IV in the Engineer’s arm.

The little raccoon robot was curled up on the gurney, watching everything the Medic did for Dell. Medic smiled gently at the animal, and gave him a pat.

“It vill be ok, leibling,” he told Butler.

“Uh, Doc?

“Ja, Scout? Vhat is it?”

Scout held out the scrap of wool coat for the Medic to see. Medic’s eyes widened. “Is that..?”

Scout nodded, swallowing hard. Pyro silently handed over the knife, along with Jane’s helmet and rocket launcher.

Medic took the helmet. He looked at the boys, and back at Dell in the bed. He motioned silently to them to follow him into the other room.

Dell awoke, the fever receding. He had no idea where he was. He sat up, and Lieutenant Butler hopped up on his lap.

“Butler! Where am I?” Dell saw the IV, saw that he was in Respawn, and looked at the chamber door. It was on the floor of the room. “That ain’t right,” Dell thought aloud, forgetting that he had already seen the door removed from the machine. “The door needs to be reattached to the chamber there-“

Jane was standing in the chamber.

Dell gasped, he sat up, and the IV was pulled from his arm.

“JANE!” Dell fell out of the gurney and crawled to the side of the desk, away from the healing glow of his dispenser. Jane stared at him, and Dell started coughing.

“Jane! Jane, please! Come here!”

Jane turned and seemed to melt away.

Medic, Scout and Pyro ran back into the room to see Dell sobbing, hanging onto the desk like a life preserver, and hollering for Jane, pleading with him to come back.

 

 “No! NO! NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONO-“

_You need to calm down. Your light is fading._

“I NEED DELL! I NEED MY BODY!”

_Your body is somewhere on the physical plane._

“Merasmus, I can’t live like this!”

_You aren’t living, Jane._

_  
_


	4. Haunted by the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of time before.

A big mortar whistled down, and then followed the explosion, a shower of pebbles, and men screaming. Jane Doe ducked behind sandbags and coral rock. The sweat, heat, blood and bugs on this godforsaken pile of coral in the giant Pacific Ocean wouldn’t even be mentioned in the history books. He carefully scanned the hilly terrain. Most of the foliage had been scoured off, and the caves were just cracks which the enemy Japanese hid like rats. Unlike rats, they tenaciously fought against every Marine that landed.

Jane saw movement above, and quickly lifted his rifle and sighted a Japanese soldier. He squeezed the trigger.

_You remember this?_

Jane was silent. Merasmus was a presence he could feel simultaneously in the coral wasteland and in the Void.

“How could I forget?”

_Then you remember him._

Jane indeed remembered him. A young sailor aboard the _USS Indianapolis_ , he was a naval Seebee. They were builders, engineers, and tech men the Marines learned to depend on. His name was Jack. Wait. That wasn’t right. That was _Jane’s_ name. “Why did my name change?”

_That lifetime is past, Jane. The Void is a place for reflection._

Who was he? If he could remember being Jack, he should be able to remember his SeeBee’s name.

_You will always be you, a singularity with moral sense. Every life you live, you do not carry that mortal memory with you into the next. Things get…confusing._

“What happened to him? He was my best friend. I had no friends in the Corps,”

Jane saw a ship in the dark, a cruiser listing from a Japanese torpedo in shark infested waters. The men aboard were fleeing into lifeboats and jumping into the ocean directly, the blood was thick in the water. Fire and smoke and confusion were everywhere, while the ship sank in under twelve minutes. Among the few survivors, no face looked like his beloved SeeBee. Jane closed his eyes, and the image vanished.

“I-I never knew…”

_You died shortly after in that war._

Jane saw his body, rolling in the surf on a forgotten beach in a forgotten theatre. There was a grave detail gathering American dead. American boys who fought bravely and died. The surf gently carried Jane’s remains out to sea, unseen or unnoticed, and there was no closing for that boy’s family. No V for Victory.

“I don’t like this memory. I don’t want to be here with you, Merasmus! I want to be with Dell! I love Dell!”

_He is your soulmate, Jane. You were together then, you are together now._

“How could I have fought in both the Pacific and European theaters? I remember fighting Nazis!”

_You were years, 15 years late to that theater, Jane. I was with you, though, remember?_

Jane remembers. His present lifetime is now over, but he remembers. Reincarnation. He had never given much thought to a lifetime, but in the void, all you had was thought. Looking at past lives was like turning pages in a book. The present life he had just departed was open to him now.

His military father drove both his mother and him away when Jane was very young. Jane thought by fighting in a war, his dad would accept him as a son. A 15 year old introvert with a grudge, Jane tried and failed to get into any branch of the military, although he tried. Every recruiter saw that Jane was not quite right in the head, assumed he was slow, or just not made of the right stuff.

Most of the combat at that time was in Vietnam. Jane had only heard about communists and Nazis from his WWII veteran father, and flew to Poland on his own, unwavering in his desire to win medals. He boarded a train and headed for historic battlefields with war history tours, most folk kept clear of him. Jane was determined to be his father’s equal. He tried to keep from talking to himself as to not appear crazy, but the tall, robed man that only he could see, insisted upon it.

_Your father never accepted you. You were fighting an imaginary war. You were captured, remember?_

“It was a prison camp!”

It was hell on earth, but not a POW. Jane had been detained by East Berlin. He was treated fairly, but he was so adamant about being in a war and talking to an unseen person, they bought him a ticket home just to get rid of him.

 _At least you never saw him again, Jane_.

Jane saw a grave in Arlington. His fathers’ name and rank appeared on the tombstone.

“I should have been buried here. I fought in the Pacific Theater,” Jane mourned the bones on the sea floor from the battle on the coral islands in his past life.

 _You are a hero, but the only one who will ever know is you and I. And since I am your moral sense, I make sure that you remember everything_.

And Merasmus flooded Jane’s memories with his life present. Jane living on the streets. Jane finding a baby raccoon in a box in an alley. His many odd jobs in security, his perusal and failure of being a US Army recruit, his lifetime dream of being a Soldier fulfilled when the Administrator for Bluetarch Mann hired him to be exactly that. The day he met Dell Conagher for the first time. Jane cried out in rage and passion and sadness.

“I don’t belong here! I belong in that world! I belong with Dell!!”

_Then go…….but you’ll be baaaaaacckk…._

………………………………………..

 

Dell awoke, and saw Medic speaking quietly to the Spy. He groaned, and the doctor looked over at him.

“I hope you are feeling better, we need you, Engineer,” the Medic stated. Dell cleared his throat.

“I saw Jane,” he said.

A shadow passed over the tall mans’ features, Dell thought he saw…sympathy?

“Dell, there is a very good chance that Jane, vell, he probably didn’t make it,” Medic said gently.

Dell stared at the Medic. It was like he was speaking another language. Jane? He’s gotta be alive, he had just seen him…

 “But I saw him get hit by the Demo right behind me when I was respawned!” Dell struggled to sit up. The BLU team, minus Jane, were all gathered by the bed. Dell looked them all in the face, most of them looked back. Scout, Tristan, and Pyro looked downcast.

“Ze boys returned with a scrap of his coat, and ze RED spy’s knife,” Medic continued. “If ze power vas interrupted while Jane vas being regenerated, perhaps zere is a chance he is retrievable. I however, and not an Engineer. Ve need you, Dell.”

“What, he’s alive?” Scout asked. “I thought since we found all that blood-“

“Blood? After the truce was called?” Dell stood up and hung onto the bedrails. Not quite better.

“Well, yeah, there was a hell of a lot of it. We found Jane’s coat, cut up into pieces. We found the RED spy’s knife, Soldier’s rocket-launcher, uhh..his helmet…” Scout was ticking off the items on his fingers.

“If there was blood and clothes, there could have been a body, are you sure you checked everywhere?”

The Pyro and the Scout looked at each other. “Naw, we found you right after we found Soldier’s stuff!”

 “That’s it!” Dell cried in excitement. “He’s stuck in th’ buffers! All we need to do is get the Respawn back online!” Dell grabbed ahold of Scout’s shoulder and the boy assisted him to the computers. Dell surveyed the damage.

The machine was mostly intact, albeit the door being plucked off by the Heavy. Dell felt a pinch in his skin on the back of his arm. “Hey! Ow! Whatcha’ think you’re doing?”

Medic pulled an empty syringe back. “Antiviral medication. You should see an improvement to your strength if you stay next to your dispenser. At least your strength vill last longer,”

Dell rubbed his arm. He felt better, but he still wasn’t sure if the medicine was doing it, or the hope that Jane existed somewhere out there.

“Butler! I need you to come with me! The rest of you, if Jane’s body is out there, there will be Hell to pay. I want him found!” Dell stood up, the raccoon hovering over his shoulder and landing. “If you see the RED Spy, I want him captured! Someone is not playin’ by th’ rules, and he’s gonna see time in Gitmo if this Grimm Tale doesn’t end th’ way I want!” He put his brown cowboy hat on, and with a swift motion straightened the brim with one hand.

Six and a half pairs of eyes stared back at him. He met each one with a level gaze. He had given a direct order to the team, but with the present crisis and confusion, BLU team was happy to have someone direct the plan of attack. Each BLU nodded in turn, and headed out.

Medic smiled at his little friend. He was proud to have Dell take a leadership position. He smiled at his partner, Heavy.

“Our little man is growing up! Hoo!”

……………………………….

The night sky was overcast, and floodlights lit the battle zone. After the rain, there was an abundance of sound, crickets sang in the grass. But Dell paid them no mind. He was on a mission, and he needed his toolkit. Dell ran to his toolshed, and unlocked the door. The lights weren’t on, but he had Butler find the remote and the raccoon brought it to him.

“Heh, you remember this, little fella? This used to be your remote! Since I assigned you to Jane-“ Dell swallowed, a lump in his throat forming. He shook it off. “Well, let’s find those tools. Ain’t no good to sob instead of work,” Dell pressed the button for the lights.

His eyes went to the floor and he saw a single white boot print. “Wait-“

Dell remembered his floor robot sweeping up the flour from earlier. Apparently, the robot was getting sloppy. He squatted down to look at it. “This looks like Jane’s,”

“oo” said the little raccoon. Dell looked at Butler. “Well, I’ll be! Jane said you were starting to talk!” Dell smiled at the robot.

“jayne...jayne,” Butler cooed.

“Yea, Jane.” Dell’s eyes misted. He touched the flour.

“jayne love oo” Dell squeezed his eyes shut. He let out a shuddering breath, which quickly became hoarse crying. He gathered up the raccoon and sobbed into his fur.

“jayne”

“I know, I know, I know,” Dell cried quietly, rocking the raccoon back and forth.

“jayne” Dell paused in his lament, and looked at Lieutenant Butler. Butler was looking up and away from him, off to the back of the room.

Dell followed his gaze and saw a shape in the back of the shed.

“Jane!”

The soldier stood at attention in the darkness.

…………………………..

 

 

“Tristan, hey, wait up a bit,” Scout called after the team split up to widen the search. Tristan raised an eyebrow, but he did pause to let the boy catch up to him.

“Oui?” Scout looked over his shoulder, quickly and then turned back to the Spy.

“If Dell can’t get Respawn up and the RED team decides to annihilate us, what’s gonna happen?”

“Well, I suppose our managers will get fired, and much money will pass hands”

“Oh,”

“Are you thinking of giving up, Scout?”

“Naw, no, I can do this. I can do it myself, I just don’t know why we are going out of our way though, for Soldier. He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself,” Scout said, flipping his dog tags.

“We are a team, non?”

“Uh, yeah,”

“Well, we look out for each other, right?

“Well, yeah”

“Think of it like this. It could be Pyro out there, lost, alone, probably bleeding out. You would help him, oui?

“Yeah, he’s my best buddy! I’d die for him!” Scout looked insulted that Tristan would even ask.

“Well, Dell would die, and has indeed, died many times for each and every one of us. But, he and Jane have a…deeper relationship, so to speak.”

“What!?! Ya mean…ya mean they’re gay? Oh my god. I thought that they were awfully friendly with each other.” Scout began to make a face.

“Does that lower your opinion of them?

Tristan’s eyes narrowed, and Scout suddenly felt two feet tall, instead of looking down on Tristan normally.

“Jane Doe would destroy anyone who harms his team. He is an excellent Soldier, and can do radical things with his weapons. Dell Conagher is the Engineer, he invents things to make our survival a little easier while we are in battle. These men, these, ‘fags’ you so freely called them, they are our brothers-in-arms! There is nothing that they won’t do for their team, or for each other!” Tristan turned, and started walking out to the battlements.

Scout stood, open-mouthed, and slowly lowered his gaze.

……………………………

Dell stared. “Jane!”

_It can’t be Jane. He’s in the buffers. But what if it is?_

The sound of bootfalls approached Dell, and he watched as his soldier walked towards him, in full military gear. His heart lurched in his chest. This couldn’t be the same man, could it? He almost looked like a Marine from WWII.

Just as suddenly, he disappeared. “JANE!” Dell’s head whipped back and forth, scanning the entire room. Lieutenant Butler hung onto his jacket, watching the room.

“Jane….” Dell said again, in a small voice. The little cybernetic raccoon dropped down to the flood from where Dell was kneeling. He scampered towards the work area. He returned dragging Dell’s test kit from his mouth, and the belt with his grappling hook. Dell silently took them from him.

“You’re right, Butler, we need to get that gear operational, I believe I’m losing my mind-“Dell saw the can of water in the window sill, and saw three daisies. This morning, he had only put one in it.

“I really am going crazy!” Dell looked back at the boot print in the flour. “He must’ve been here! There is no other explanation!”

Butler pulled on his pant leg. “Oo! jayne.”

He checked every corner of his toolshed one more time, and headed out the door towards Respawn, the little raccoon right beside him.

 

“Ok Doc. That should do it.” Dell finished hanging the door back on the chamber. The Medic powered up the computer, and while it did a systems check, he then checked the protein replicators and carbon/mineral transfer canisters. Once the system was online, Medic flipped all the switches to on. The two stood back to watch what would happen next.

Nothing. No hum, no crackle of energy, no charged pressure of the tanks releasing.

Dell set his jaw. The medic glanced back to the console.

“It says there is no load in the buffers,” the doctor said. “Dell, I am so sorry-“the Medic put a hand on the Engineer’s shoulder. Dell twisted away from it like it was fire.

“No. NO! NO! This is not god-damn happening!” Dell’s voice broke. He threw his tool belt at the wall. “This is NOT GOD-DAMN HAPPENING!”

The Medic looked at the entire computer again, scanning through data files. There must be some key that is missing-

“Zat is IT!” The medic shouted, “Ze KEY!” Dell looked at the medic, not comprehending what he was hearing.

“What?”

“Ze key. Ze Key to us! We all have a code! It looks like someone has been in here, knew what zhey vere looking for, and took it!”

“I have no idea who would do such a…” Dell stopped.

Medic had pulled in the video feed for the Respawn room.  There was no recording for a certain period of time, but when the lights came on when Dell flipped the switch, they could see the Heavy, the Medic, and the rest of the BLU team on the screen look up at the lights and applaud. There was the machine, and the Medic had walked past the camera and out to the surgery wing. Suddenly, a RED figure slinked by on the screen, turned into the BLU Medic and stole into the BLU Respawn, and out again with an object in his hand. The RED Spy. Somehow, that ghoul had done something to make this happen. Dell set his jaw again, only with more steel in his eyes.

“Has the team found him yet?” Dell asked the Medic, in a firm, even, dangerous tone.

The Medic looked at Dell and shook his head. “Nien. No one has come back with any sign yet-“

Dell was already on his way out the door, this time commanding Butler to stay with the Medic. Butler watched the man stride away, and looked up at the Medic.

“I think zat RED Spy might be in trouble…” He said to the raccoon.

“oo!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey, me here. I really don't have a clue as to what happens to us after we die. But, I'd like to think that we are all reunited with our loved ones. I will be pissed if when I get there my dogs aren't there. I wanna hang out with them. I hope you are enjoying the tale, and bearing the tragedy well. Not the best Valentine's day story so far.


	5. Ghost in the Flesh

 

Dell walked the grounds with both his pistol and shotgun drawn. He was on a Spy hunt, and this was going to be a hell of a hunt. If he had ever had such a resolute mission in his life, it was to rescue his boyfriend. There was no other choice.

Scout ran up beside him as he passed the generator shed for the third time.

“Engie, wait up!”

“Hey boy, did you find him yet?” Dell asked, fury in his heart, and his blue eyes, cold.

Scout shook his head. “N-no. We are trying, but he’s probably holed up in the Respawn over at RED. None of us have tried searching there yet.”

Dell looked towards the RED base. “I might just head over myself and drag that sonavabitch right out of there,”

“Tristan already is over there,” Scout said. Dell returned his gaze to the boy.

“I owe Tristan a favor, then,” he said. Dell turned away, to resume his search.

“Uh, Dell?” Scout looked down at his shoes, and then back at Dell.

“Yeah hoss?”

“Tristan told me about you. About Jane. And I want you to know it’s cool with me. You are like my dad to me. Better than him. Better than anyone I know, actually,”

“Well, thanks.” Dell smiled a small, tired smile at the kid.

“And Dell?”

“Yeah?”

“Soldier is like my crazy uncle.”

Dell chuckled a little. “He is a little like your uncle,”

“To tell you the truth, I don’t think less of you guys at all!” Scout said.

“I appreciate it, partner. Now go-!“ There was a sound behind the two. Scout and the Engineer looked towards the generator room. Dell raised both guns and started walking towards the bay doors. The Scout stayed next to Dell.

They passed the first turbine and headed for the control room. He saw a shadow behind the door, and he kicked it open.

“You better come out with your hands up, Spy!” Dell shouted in the room.

An all-too familiar shadow stood, back facing Dell. Goosebumps ran over his skin.

Jane turned around and looked at him. Dell held his breath.

The figure turned and walked away. Disappeared. Dell dropped his weapons.

He pressed his fingers into the corners of his eyes.

“You did see that, didn’t ya boy? Please tell me ya saw that….”

When silence was his answer, Dell turned around. The Scout was gone.

A wicked chuckle filled the room. Dell looked around, but couldn’t see anything. He grabbed his guns and started shooting into all the corners. He ran out the door and down the hall, and came across a piece of bloody clothing. It looked like a piece of Jane’s clothes!

“Goddammnit! What the hell is going on?” Dell looked into every corner, at the stairs, past the turbines. He saw the lifeless body of the Scout, and ran over to him.

“Son! SON!” Dell shook the Scout. “God-dammit! What happened, boy?”

The Scout opened his eyes and looked at Dell.

“Uh. Ow. Uh, I got stabbed in the back. I don’t think I’ll make it!” Dell pulled out the last of his health packs, and gave them to the kid.

“Ya can’t die on me now, hoss. I don’t wanna risk losing you too to some technical malpractice,”

Scout stood up. “Thanks man!”

The Engineer turned around, searching the bay. “That god-damn Spy. He’s pretendin’ to be Jane to make me think I’m crazy! That sonofa-“

The RED Spy struck Dell on the upper shoulder. Dell cried out in pain and surprise, as he swung his right arm around in a perfect clothesline. His metal hand dashed against the Adam’s apple on the Spy, and the Frenchman dropped to the floor. Dell’s left arm hung, useless from the knife wound. Dell reached down and picked up the Spy with his mechanical hand.

“Listen here, boy,” Dell gritted his teeth and bared a vicious smile. His voice, low, and slow, but furious. “Now I’m a friendly guy, and I am truly a gentle sort, but what we have here is a… _hostile…_ situation.

“Know this. No one, I mean, NO ONE mistakes my kindness for weakness. You have been every sort of pain in my side since day one,”

The RED spy grunted. Dell cocked his head and looked at him.

“You feel like having a vacation? How ‘bout a permanent one, partner?”

Dell squeezed with his hand, the Spy’s eyes bulged.

“Where is th’ code?”

The spy struggled, grabbing at Dell’s hand. Dell dropped him on the floor.

“Talk!”

“Here.” The RED Spy coughed out. He reached into his jacket, and held up a black object. ”It means zo much to you to have zis man? Take him!” The RED spy threw the black object at Dell. It flew past him and skidded on the floor. Dell went to pick it up, but when he turned around, the Red was gone.

Dell gathered up his weapons in his good arm and walked back to BLU base. He never once looked over his shoulder, knowing that the vindictive Spy would have gotten pleasure from that.

 

As Dell staggered into Respawn, he saw Pyro hugging Scout so hard the boy couldn’t breathe.

“Hey! Hey stahp! Get offa me! I just died is all. Respawn is working, jeeze.”

“Thank God, it’s working again,” said Dell. The Scout looked up.

“Oh Engie! Man! I thought you were a goner! Once I felt that prick stab me I knew you’d be right behind me in th’ Spawn-“Scout hugged the Engineer. Dell cried out in pain.

“Oh! Herr Conagher! You have been wounded as well!” Medic observed.

Dell waved him away.

“Not now, don’t bother with me. I need to bring Jane back!” Dell took out the object, but held still long enough for the Medic’s healing beam from his gun to mend his wounded arm.

Dell took out the object. It seemed like a simple process. There were drives that the object fit in, and Dell plugged it in. The Respawn hummed to life.

Scout and Pyro watched. “Hey! Something’s happening!” The machine whooshed in its peculiar noise, and there was a flash of light.

Everyone peeked into the clear viewport.

Jane Doe was laying on the floor, prone.

“JANE!” Dell screamed. He urgently ran to the door and opened it. “Jane! Jane! Oh, Jane! Hey! HEY!” he shook Jane’s shoulder. There was no response. Dell started to shake.

Scout put an arm over the trembling man, and the Medic had Heavy bring in a gurney.

“I need to examine him,” Medic told Dell. “His body is here, but it seems he is not,”

Dell stared at the Doctor, red-eyed, uncomprehending. “He’s. He’s not in there?”

“His body remains unconscious. It may have been too long for the code to be out of the System. I have no idea how long the tie between the body and the soul lasts vhen they are separated.”

Dell looked back at Jane’s body, and a tear ran down his face. “You fool. You had’ta come to my rescue, and git yerself killed, and now I can’t even help you get back in one piece…” Dell started to cry.


	6. An Ill Omen

It was quiet in the sick bay. Dell sat next to a bed that, only a handful of days earlier, had housed the Soldier when he had lost his mind over the RED spy taking his raccoon. Dell stared at Jane, lying on the bed. Medic had Jane’s body on life support, mechanical ventilation, a breathing tube inserted and IV lines running. There was the BLU technology as well as civilian measures, Medic’s ceiling mounted healing gun running to keep Jane’s tissues at peak levels.

But Dell knew it was a band-aid technique. There would be no happy ending here. He hung his head. The virus that had troubled him bothered him a little, but he was so preoccupied with Jane’s condition he barely felt it. Butler was curled up next to Jane, watching Dell with half-lidded green eyes. Dell stroked his little head, and kept staring at the unconscious man.

It was so heart-rending painful for him. They walked under the stars. They were supposed to have forever. He only had one intimate moment with Jane. And all he had to show for it was an elevated body temperature.

For some reason, or another, Radigan Conagher, Dell’s Grandpappy, popped into his thoughts. _You know, Dell, I believe I felt your Grandma today. Out in the garden. That was her favorite place._

When he looked up, he saw Jane standing next to the bed, looking down at his own body. The ghost soldier turned, and looked at Dell. Dell held his hands up, pleading to the entity.

“Please. Please, you got to come back. You gotta come back for me! Please? I got the code, Hell, I brought your body back!”

Jane’s spirit reached out to Dell, but then disappeared. Dell screamed at the top of his lungs in rage and loss. “I don’t know what to do!! Tell me what I gotta do!”

The Heavy looked up at the sudden noise coming from Jane’s room, and after a nod to the Medic, they went in. Heavy picked up Dell, still screaming, and held him until the tranquilizer Medic injected started working. They put him in a bed as well.

“I think it’s time we got another brain here,” said the Medic, thoughtfully. “It seems Engineer cannot function now.”

………………………

Nicholas Mundy, the RED Team’s sniper, had Tristan cornered.

“Non! Please I beg you!”

“That’s right, you little joey. Beg.” The Sniper unsheathed his Kukri. The BLU Spy had slipped up and surprised the Sniper but, after explaining that he was looking for the RED spy, the Sniper had let his guard down. Unfortunately for him, Nicholas was quite attracted to him. And that made getting any job done more trouble than he was prepared for.

“Why did you unsheathe your knife?”

Nicholas tossed it aside. And his rifle. “It makes it harder to…get close to ya,” Nicholas said. Tristan smiled coyly at the rouge. He knew exactly what the man was after.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! “Sniper!”

It was the RED spy. Nicholas groaned out in frustration. “What do you want, Spook? Kinda busy here!”

The RED Spy opened the door to Sniper’s barn loft, strided right in like it was his place, and lit a cigarette. “It stinks of sex in here. Is that what you do at night, rut with your hand when you don’t sleep?”

Nicholas growled at the man. He did a double take though for behind the RED Spy were two identical rifles.

“Everyone is downstairs. I need you to cover me. I stole something from the BLU engineer and he has taken it back!” The RED Spy paced through the room, uninvited.

“Serves you right,” Nicholas took a sip of coffee, acting nonchalant.

“I also interrupted the power to Respawn during the storm! That terrible mime they call Spy on BLU never found me. And I tormented the Engineer for hours, pretending to be a ghost.”

“What? You’re bleeding crazy! Now why would you go and screw with the Respawn system? That’s a whole new low, even for you!”

“Non. ‘E deserved it. I stole his lover. Do you want to know something? That Engineer is in love with the Soldier! They are faggots, and not worth the time,”

Nicholas saw red. If he hated anything at all, it was persecution and abuse of homosexuals. He whirled around, and grasped the RED Spy by the arm.

“We’re just people too, you know.” The Sniper twisted his arm. The Spy sunk to his knees.

“Tristan,” Nicholas said quietly. The RED Spy looked at him questioningly, while he panted in pain.

“Oui?” The BLU Spy materialized out of the air, lifting a mask with a sniper rifle painted on it. The RED Spy gasped in surprise.

“A weapon?! No proper disguise! You are a hack!”

Nicholas gathered Tristan into his arm, and kissed the young Spy, maintaining a vice grip on his RED teammate.

“Mon deiu, everyone ‘ere is a faggot,” the RED Spy spat out. Nicholas kicked him with his boot.

“Get the rope, sweetie,”

“Oui, we will tie him up?”

“After I tie you up” Nicholas grinned evilly at the shocked young spy. “Naw, I’m just ribbin’ ya is all. I don’t want this snake poisoning anyone anytime soon,”

 

The RED Engineer was finishing up electrical breaker work when Nicholas strolled in, dragging the RED Spy.

“Oh, hey, Stretch,” he said, then did a double-take when he saw the tied-up Spy. “Uh, there somethin’ going on here that I need to know about?”

“Well, he’s violated th’ truce between us an’ the other team, I’d say it was a mite of a problem,”

“Well, ya know what needs ta’ be done. He’s gotta go in the Spectator box,” The RED Engineer turned back to his work. “I’ll just set this here,” Nicholas said, laying a sandwich on the counter. “Don’t eat my sandwich, mate, its Vegemite.” 

“Ain’t no chance in Hell I’ll do that,” the Engineer replied, chuckling. “I don’t even know what kinda critter that is,”

The Aussie chuckled and drug the protesting RED Spy to another door.

“Ahem,” a voice said, clearing his throat.

“Who’s that?” the Engineer looked around, confused. The Sniper and his prisoner had left the room.

Suddenly, the sandwich disappeared, and the BLU Spy was sitting on the counter, pulling up his sandwich mask and grinning at the Engineer. The engineer looked about ready to have a heart attack.

“Spy! Wait! How..what…how’d you get in here?? Unless…”the Engineer did some quick calculating. He knew Nicholas’s tendencies pretty well enough that he was able to figure out Nicholas was covering for the lad. ”You’re with Nicholas, right? What in seven hells are you doing in our base?”

“Pardon, Engineer. We are having issues with our machine, I have been sent to ask for your assistance by our team Medic.” Tristan was every bit polite and very amenable. The Engineer was stunned. Their Spy was kind of a dick to everyone, pushy, obnoxious, and never had anything good to say about anyone. And it was only polite to give the BLU team Medic a hand, especially if they asked for his help.

“Well, what about your engineer? Dell Conagher? He’s th’ best I know, and I’m certainly his match…”

“Non, there has been…complications. We need your expertise because your RED Spy had done something to our Respawn simply to torture the man.” Tristan looked away toward the door where Nicholas was coming back out. Nicholas set one red shoe on the counter.

“What is ‘Spectator box?” Tristan asked, with a note of concern, eyeing the dress shoe.

“It ain’t fun, I’ll tell ya that.” The Engineer stood up and gathers his tools. “I guess I had better hurry up and head on over, in case the unthinkable happens,”

“It may have, already,” Tristian stood up. “We haven’t been able to locate our Soldier, Jane Doe. And it is possible he may be stuck in the machine,”

“Dear God.”


	7. Ghost Hunter

Medic looked in at Dell sitting by the bed of Jane Doe. The man was out of commission. They would have to put in orders for a replacement Soldier and Engineer at this rate. It would be a temporary fill unless either man terminated their contract. And that would be a tragedy.

Medic closed the door. He walked to his office and sat at his desk, and made a note to call to Ms. Pauling, to inform her of the new complications and the request for a new replacement.

 

Dell watched and listened to Jane’s steady, slow breathing as the machines did their job of keeping his body alive. He felt hollow inside. Never before had he felt such a despair, such a feeling of complete helplessness. He had always been able to solve the problems. There had to be a way through this one. He heard the doctor’s boots clicking away down the hall, and was relieved that he wasn’t under scrutiny anymore. He knew what a mental incapacity would do for his job at BLU Mann Co.

He didn’t care anymore. He had been an employee on the rosters ever since he had answered the letter he received about keeping Bluetarch Mann’s extended life machine running. Although he was pissed that his future employer had dug up his Grandpappy’s corpse to rob him of the blueprints of the advanced life support machinery, he was thrilled to be in the job of rediscovery. It was almost like Grandpappy was speaking to him from beyond the dead.

The dead weren’t speaking anymore, now. He didn’t feel his soldier’s eyes on him, didn’t feel a presence, and didn’t get a chill in the room that wasn’t fever related. Jane was out there, somewhere, like a ship lost from its mooring in a storm, getting farther and farther from safe harbor. And Dell didn’t know how to fix a soul.

He stood up, and quietly left the room.

“He’s leaving me.” Jane’s spirit wept as he watched. “I’m not gone, I’m right here,”

_He has lost hope_. The tall robed man stood next to Jane in the gathering darkness of the Void.

“And so have I. If Dell…can’t…figure out where I am and gives up, I am lost,”

_Lost_. The voice in the darkness repeated.

Agony consumed Jane. He retreated into himself, and held a small, warm light to his being. If he had focused, he would have noticed the greenish cloud wrapping around him. Feeding on the warmth, the waning light of his soul, and desiring so much more.

………………………………..

 

The RED Engineer looked over the BLU Respawn computer with the BLU Medic. It wasn’t as bad as Tristan had made it out to be, but it would take some doing. He set up his toolbox and started working. Dell came in just as the RED Engineer started to work. He glared at the Medic and Tristan.

“Really?” he said, with a huff. “Ya hired my apprentice from RED?”

Tristan looked at the celling and Medic wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he casually spoke,”Vell, we need an Engineer to get this going again, and you are most certainly not in any condit-“

“Rrrrgh! I am sick and tired of ya diagnosin’ me, doc! I know what’s wrong with me! So if you’ll go ahead an’ excuse me, I’m gonna go medicate myself!”

“Now, now, Herr Conagher-“

Dell didn’t wait for him to finish. With a disgusted look at the RED Engineer, Dell turned and exited. He headed straight for his toolshed.

The thinking hours were long. Dell sat in his comfy chair, and drank beer after beer. He mostly stared at the window, where the daisies in the can had wilted.

“Goddammit, Jane. God dammit. Damn. I knew that I could never have a decent relationship. Always something intervenes. Too bad this time, it was the God-Damn Grim Reaper hisself.” He stretched in his chair and shook his head. “If I could, I would kick his bony ass straight across the river Styx.”

Dell thought about what he had just spoke to the empty room. The Styx. Where lost souls went. What did the Greek hero do to rescue the maiden taken too soon?

“Mortality. He braved his mortality.” Dell twirled the beer bottle between his fingers, the metal digits clinking softly against the glass. There wasn’t much comfort coming from the bottle tonight. None, actually. He thought about that for a while, and got out some literature books he had on the shelf by his bed.

Scout knocked gently on the door to the toolshed and, when he didn’t hear anything, went ahead and pushed the door open. He saw the Engineer reading frantically through a huge book of mythology, and a history and religious practices book propped open to the side.

“Hey, Engie, “Scout said, in a lower voice than normal, but with as much concern as he had for his father figure. When Dell didn’t reply, Scout walked over to him. He could smell the alcohol and he knew that Dell had had too many. He braced himself.

“Listen, Dell. Uh, Respawn is up again, but…”

“No change in Jane. I know.”

“Yeah. So, the Medic thinks that Jane is…”

“Lost? Yeah, I know that. Listen here. Tell that Quack I’m gonna fix this.”

“Yeah, but-“

“But what?!”Dell rounded on the teen. “Can’t you give me any useful information? There ain’t nothing you all know that I don’t! Now if ya ain’t got something helpful or intelligent to say to me, ya better get your ass outta here!”

“Medic’s pulling the plug.” Scout’s eyes were red. He knew Dell didn’t mean to direct his anger at him, but it still hurt. And he knew that this would hurt Dell, but someone had to tell him, and the kid didn’t want Dell to miss his chance to say goodbye.

“What?” Dell whispered.

“Yeah. It pisses me off too, but Soldier’s a vegetable. There is nothing Doc can do. Orders from management.”

Blinking away tears, Dell turned away.

“What? Ya just gonna give up? Ya can’t give up man! Jesus Christ! What is with you?” Scout threw up his hands in exasperation. He turned to go out the door.

“I’ll be right behind you.” Scout looked at the Engineer one last time before shutting the door. The man sat with his back to the door, shoulders slumped, head down.

“Hey, Engie,”

“Yeah, son?” Dell threw his shoulders back and lifted his head. He looked almost like he was squaring off for a toe to toe battle.

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s a ship lost at sea, son. I think I’ll cast a line out,” Dell turned to face the boy, and Scout almost didn’t recognize the little Engineer. He had such a resolute, final look, to the distant horizon.

 Scout shook his head, and closed the door.

Scout heard the pistol go off as he was halfway back to the Respawn.

“No! NO!” The Scout raced back to the toolshed, flying really, and skidded to the door, flinging it open as his weight catapulted him into a slide. He jumped up and pounced in the living room. There lay Dell, across his worktable, the blood soaking into the corner of the religious practices book.

The page was about Purgatory, and Scout shuddered.

…………………………..

“MEDIC!”

Scout was screaming at the top of his lungs as he ran back to the Respawn. Medic looked up from watching the computer screen. The RED Engineer was packing up his kit.

“Ja Scout? What is it?”

“It’s Dell!” The boy was panting, sobbing. Having a time catching his breath. “I told him about Jane and he got all upset and, well, he shot himself!”

“It’s ok, Scout, he will Respawn in a few minutes. The RED Engineer has gotten everything the Spy had damaged fixed.”

“Then why ain’t he back yet? Scout looked at his watch. “Why ain’t he back? I ain’t no dummy, but Dell’s toolshed is a ten minute walk from here. That ain’t nothing for me, but still, shouldn’t he have beat me back here?”

The Medic and the RED Engineer looked at each other. The boy was right.

 

 

………………………………………….

A gorgeous sky of pinks and oranges filled Dell’s vision as he awoke. He looked around. He was in the pastures of home, wildflowers were everywhere, the breeze was warm and the sky was so damn beautiful. Dell stood up. The breeze rustled summer leaves and the clouds were billowy and pink. The sun was setting. It must be about suppertime. He heard a whooshing sound off in the distance, but it sucked at him and he wasn’t focused on it. It wasn’t important, right now, so he blocked it. There was something that was very important, Dell knew he had something to do…but the sky was so beautiful.

He looked down at his hands. He had two hands! What happened to his mechanical hand? The Gunslinger, he called it. That was what he thought he had called it. Perhaps, it was a dream. He must’ve been dreaming about cowboys again, he loved those black and white dramas on the TV. “Lain’ out here in a pasture in the beautiful Texas sunset sky, and I was dreaming about a metal hand,” he chuckled. “What a story for Grandpappy.”

Dell saw his house in the countryside. He could see Radigan Conagher, his Grandpappy, waiting for him to come home from school! Dell was 10 again, running headlong down the driveway, yelling at the top of his lungs so loud as to wake the dead.

“Grandpappy!”

“Hey lil’ hoss. You have a great day a school today? What did’ja learn?”

Dell was so happy. It had been a long time since he had seen his Grandpappy. He told Radigan about literature, about Thantos, the Greek god of death. And the River Styx, and about heroes that fought their way through darkness and despair to rescue their beloved.

“Son, you know those are just tales made of desperation, right? When did’ja ever see a River Styx?” Dell laughed and said it was a river made of sticks and it would be easy to cross to get to the maidens fair. They laughed and laughed.

Radigan gathered up little Dell and gave him a whiskery kiss, and sent him on his way.

“Go on now, lil’ hoss. Go git you a peanut butter sandwich,”

Little Dell went into the house, and Dell smiled at the memory.

Dell turned and walked south. At least he thought it was south. It was the biggest pasture he had ever seen. Did he know this place?

A man approached. Dell squinted. The man was tall and was wrapped in a brown, raggedy robe. It seemed like his feet weren’t touching the grass. That was a might strange.

Dell waved at the figure. Suddenly it was in front of him. That was really strange. Like he teleported.

_Can you help me?_

“Howdy, names’…”

_I need light._

“Come again?” Dell wasn’t sure what the odd mummy-wrapped man was asking for. He squinted at the figures’ face. He couldn’t quite pin it down, it was…blurry.

_I need light, Sam_.

Suddenly, Dell was on a ship. It was shortly after midnight. Darkness clouded the pasture away, and Dell watched as a ship listed in the ocean. A submarine had torpedoed it. The sky was black and there was fire. The strong smell of diesel fuel permeated everything, black smoke, black water, darkness. “FIRE!” Dell could hear his voice, but he knew it wasn’t from him. He saw a sailor on the deck, running with life preservers and yelling the warning as he knocked on all the doors.

“That’s me?”

_It’s dark here isn’t it? Remember your warrior._

A proud Marine stood at attention in the dark of night, black smoke billowing around him.

Sam looked twice. There was no Marine on deck. Sam continued his duty, saving as many as he could by waking them up and warning them of the sinking ship.

“Jack,” Dell sighed out and the light sliced through the scene like parting the oily sheen on a puddle.

_Yesssssssss….._

And Dell could see his pasture again, wildflowers and all, with a tree that appeared on the horizon. He squinted in the sudden light and saw someone standing there. A very familiar form, that Dell had memorized ever since he had met him.

Golden air curled around Dell’s being. He felt alive. So alive and alight with love, compassionate, gentle, unconditional love that ebbed and flowed around like liquid fire.

“JANE!” The figure turned. Dell saw his soldier.

The light curled around Dells arms, and he was instantly next to Jane, caressed by the golden light. “Jane.” Jane was clutching something to his chest.

_His light is almost gone. I need more._

“His..his light?”

Jane looked scared, afraid to speak. His eyes were huge and round, in fear.

_I NEED IT. LIGHT NOW LIGHT NOW LIGHT NOW…!_ The thing whisper-screamed, writhing on itself.

The figure had turned into a churning maelstrom of dark energy. Dell brushed it aside with a wave of his arm. Golden light crashed into the energy and it seemed to dissipate. Dell gave it no more thought.

Dell’s light poured into Jane. The soldier looked like he was waking up from a nightmare.

“D-dell? Dell? Is it really you?” he whispered. “It was so dark and I was so afraid…afraid you had given up on me…”

Jane’s hands let go and a tiny spark floated out from Jane’s chest, flickering.

“Yes, it is really me. It really is me! I found you! Ha ha! I fucking found you!” And Dell’s laughter lit the field with fierce, bright sunlight. The mummy like figure rippled in the light like it was dancing.

Jane’s spark ignited, and the force of a supernova engulfed the two lovers. The light eradicated everything except the two men holding each other.

“I can’t believe it,” Dell laughed, golden notes flowing up from his being. The more he beamed at the Soldier, the brighter he became. ”I can-not-fucking-believe I found you! I love you so god-damn much Jane! I love you! I knew I would find you, I just knew it!

Jane looked down at his little engineer and smiled warmly, tears flowing down, glistening in the light. Dell was talking about a river called Styx and souls and life and love and sacrifice. Jane let his voice wash over him like the tide. He clung to him, pulled him close. He heard the whooshing sound again, like the ocean, and felt serenity.

“Jane, now you listen, hoss. We are getting ready to jump. I want you to focus on my voice, ok? Listen to me. Focus on following my voice, I’ll keep talkin’. I’ll keep talkin’ and you just listen, all right? Listen to me Jane, listen-“

The ocean waves crashed all around in Jane’s ears, but he heard Dell talk.

 

 


	8. Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The part you have all been waiting for.

 

Pyro clung to Scout throughout the entire funeral. The minister spoke fondly of Dell and Jane, Dell Conagher being an irreplaceable loss to the community and Jane Doe was a hero to all of his friends, and blah blah blah. Scout was pissed. He was so angry he got up and walked away during the graveside service. Pyro followed. Py hadn’t mrrphed a word to Scout the entire time, but the boy could feel his pal trembling through the suit.

Scout wasn’t comfortable. Everything that he had was destroyed over the course of a week. Well, no, he couldn’t say that with 100% conviction. He still had his best buddy.

He knew that some serious shit had happened, that normally didn’t happen, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. But the problem Scout had with everything, is that rules had been broken. Nothing was proven true and safe anymore. And it didn’t sit well with him.

Scout hopped up on a small mausoleum. He turned around and sat, looking over the cemetery at the horizon. Pyro scrabbled up the side. He was fast, but lacked the agility.

“Mrph! Mrph mrph.” Pyro extended a hand to the boy. Scout glared at him, but reached down anyway and hauled the kid up.

They sat for a bit, and Pyro pulled out a picture and handed it over to him. “What? Oh, what, you want me to look at your stupid picture again?” Scout ripped the picture out of Pyro’s hands. The picture was of Dell, Jane, Sniper, Scout and Pyro hanging out at the bonfire. Dell took it with a camera he had set up on the hood of Sniper’s van. They were having a blast. Scout blinked hard. He grimaced at the picture.

“Yeah, so? The party’s gonna be short two people. So what?” Scout tossed the pic back at Pyro, and turned his head away from him. Pyro carefully tucked the picture back into his suit, heaving a huge sigh.

“This sucks.”

“Mrrphrr.”

There was movement behind the two boys, but Scout didn’t seem to notice. Pyro however turned and watched a brown robed figure slipping in and out among the tombstones. He clutched at Scout but the boy shrugged him off.

The disembodied entity slunk around the cemetery, and watched the friends mourn for the fallen. Somehow, it came here because the combined focus of the mourners brought it here. It writhed in pleasure. They weren’t gone. They had escaped the Void, and by whatever means they had to return to the living brought them back. Their love, their _light_ , was so powerful, they drug the entity though. And from Jane’s active, borderless imagination and haunted memories of lives past, it has its own identity.

Merasmus was hungry.

……………………………………

 

It sounded like thunder to Dell. The sudden coming into being startled him, even though he had remained conscious. He did so to retain Jane’s soul. He rolled onto his side and sat up.

Dell heard a groan behind him, and his heart beat faster. When he turned around, he saw Jane smiling at him.

“Oh. Oh my God. Jane!” Dell grabbed his soldier, and clung to him. “I knew this would work! I just wasn’t sure I’d find ya, undefined parameters of purgatory and all that, but… but it worked! It fucking worked!” Tears streamed from his eyes, and they were happy tears. Jane looked down at him. He took his thumbs and wiped them away from Dell’s cheek.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it. I am just so damn relived to see you!”

Jane stood up, and helped Dell off the floor. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you, too.” Jane held Dell close. Dell was awestruck that his theory worked. He didn’t say anything though, because it was trifling compared to the afterlife. The Soldier clung to Dell like before, and although they were much closer as energy, it was the same feeling, just joy and love that they were together again.

“I thought, I thought I’d never get to be alive again. This time, anyways,” Jane whispered into Dell’s ear.

“This time?”

“Yes. I am. I guess I mean to say, that…I am everything about being a soldier. I was always a soldier, according to lives past. I knew you then, too.”

“Me? How’d you know me? “Dell asked.

“I saw a ship,”

“On fire? I recall something from…over there. I was on a sinking naval cruiser…My name was…Sam?”

Jane’s eyes widened. His body stiffened. Then, slowly, he crushed Dell to him, and repeated softly, “Sam…Sam…Sam,”

“Jack,” The Engineer was awestruck. This was something he had no idea about, but it struck such a chord of truth in him, and he about fell over from the self-realization.

Suddenly the Respawn door opened, and the BLU crew started filing in. Everyone was returning from the funeral. The two were so intertwined they didn’t notice, but Medic looked up. He saw them and his jaw dropped. Scout and Pyro ran into the back of the startled doctor.

“Hey what the hell-“

“Mein Gott!”

“Dell! Jane! You two are here?” Scout hopped up and down in excitement, along with Pyro. “Oh my God! We just buried ya! Hey, stop that, ya gotta audience!”

There was so much commotion and celebration, as the team welcomed back their lost friends. Dell was all smiles, and the normally loud Soldier was smiling happily and saying little. Scout handed them towels. “Uh, I think you guys forgot there’s no clothes in Respawn…”

 

Medic had completed his checkup of the two men, and diagnosed Jane with the same flu virus that Dell had. However, it was easier to give them two weeks off to heal on their own. The first few days sucked, but the two settled in comfortably in sick bay. As it was a virus, no one wanted to catch it, so the only visitors they had were the Medic and his Heavy counterpart. Lieutenant Butler was with them 24/7, and was often sent out to get something for the guys.

There was little privacy, even with the light traffic, but the two didn’t mind that either. They had all the time in world, and the world beyond.

Since it was prescribed rest and relaxation, Jane took advantage of wearing sweatpants and a sleeveless tank. Dell wore a white tee and boxers. Neither cared if anyone came in to visit, and it was relaxing. Of course, though, it proved to be distracting, especially for Dell.

Dell admired watching Jane’s muscles flex with every little movement.  The man was a beast in form, beautiful to watch. But when he caught Dell looking he’d flex harder, just to watch the Texan turn red. He always chuckled every time he did it, because it was always automatic for Dell to blush, it was like he could not look at him.

Dell enjoyed having to spend all this time with his lover because nothing else was expected of him. He did get Butler to bring him a few projects to work on. One was a portable Respawn device that worked independently of the big machine. He wanted it for backup in case anything like this ever happened again. The other was a toy prototype blueprint he was saving as a surprise.

They were playing cards together one afternoon, when Jane looked up from his hand with the oddest expression.

“What?” Dell asked him.

“The more I try to remember, the less that I can. I don’t understand. Everything was so clear before,”

Dell saw that Jane was struggling to grasp something that was out of reach, even for him. He got up and went around the bedside table, and sat next to him.

“I remember it being dark. And I was scared to death. There was something I can’t pin down that was haunting me. I was so scared that I curled into a ball,”

“But I found you,” said Dell. “You know that in itself was an infinite lucky shot. What was it like in there?”

 Jane looked down, breaking eye contact for a second, and considered before answering. “It was forever in there. Dark. And there was someone else in there. Someone I never want to see again,” He shuddered. Then he looked back up, like he was seeing Dell for the first time, all over again.

“And…and you came for me,” Jane looked into his lover’s eyes. He could see Dell’s golden light smiling back at him, and in two seconds, he swept him up in a passionate kiss. Dell was tearing up, he was so happy.

“You came back for me too, Jane. You came back, and I know I don’t deserve it, but I love you so much,” Dell said. Jane kissed him again hungrily, and wrapped his arms around Dell, so that he couldn’t get away even if he was trying. Dell definitely didn’t try. He ran his fingers through Jane’s short hair, and nibbled his earlobe, whispering his promises and acquiescence. Jane knew all of this already. The man had braved death to find him, a lost, wayward soul watching from the horizon.

Had Dell time to think before Jane initiated the action, he would have been terrified inside. The sexual contact they both desired had been only fantasies at night for Dell. Dell had never been in a sexual situation with another man before, let alone someone of the opposite sex. But he knew that everything was right, everything felt right.

He ran his hands along Jane’s sides, under the tank top, feeling the muscle dance under the skin with one side, and being particularly careful with the Gunslinger on the other. He couldn’t feel with it, but it was calibrated to give x amount of pressure with a thought… still, he didn’t want to hurt Jane.

Jane lay back in his bunk, and pulled the Engineer down on top of him, holding him close, and his breathing a nonstop rumble of pleasure. Jane was finally getting what he desired so very much. Dell felt the heat radiating off of Jane. Was it the fever, or was it pure unleashed need? He ran his hand down the front of Jane’s body, from his powerful chest, down his abs, and along his thigh while brushing his forearm against Jane’s erection. When he did that, the rumble in Jane’s throat hitched. It was safe to say that it wasn’t the virus.

Jane arched his back when Dell brushed up against him again, and Dell raised up on his right arm to get a better look at him. Droplets of sweat danced on his Soldier’s skin as he breathed. _What a marvel of the human body he is_ , Dell thought. He pushed away the memory of the ventilator breathing for him. The strength, the power, the sheer determination was visibly present as Jane bowed under Dell’s ministration.

Jane looked into Dell’s eyes with such urgency and want, his upper lip curled, teeth bared. Jane wasn’t sure what would happen, but if Dell continued in this direction it would make him lose control.

Dell smiled a slow smile at the man. He took his hand, the one that could feel, and slowly ran it under the seam of Jane’s sweats. Jane trembled intensely while Dell stroked his body, but when he caressed his member he arched up into his hand, gasping.

“D-dell!”

Dell quickly bent over to kiss him, he was do damn beautiful when his lower lip trembled, and his own ache was throbbing intently. He picked up the pace, stroking the Soldier and rolling his thumb over the tip.

“Ah, g-god! Dell!” Jane stammered. He was in heaven again for the second time in a week. He reached over to touch Dell, and found that the boxers the Engineer wore to be open and inviting. He took special joy in making the smaller man lose his calm disposition and give in to his caress. Dell wrapped himself over Jane’s physique, and rocked his hips in rhythm to Jane’s hand, his form completely out of his control. Dell shuddered in his moment, Jane smiling into his eyes when he came. It was so intoxicating.

Afterward, they lay together, Dell hanging onto Jane in his bed, and both of them lightly dozing. The Medic had stopped by to check on his wards but, after seeing them wrapped around each other in a half-dressed state, he quietly shut the door and smiled to himself. His patients were on the mend.

……………………………….

 

The RED Spy was in hell. The RED Sniper had taken one of his shoes, and had poured out the contents of a Jarate jar all over the floor so that he was forced to watch the Spectator box show him all the dominations he had suffered in the Gravel Wars. He didn’t dare put his foot on the floor. He sat there and seethed.

There was a shadow in the corner of the room, and the RED Spy watched from the corner of his eye. It was a brown, ratty thing that floated over the carpet. There was no way that had gotten in here recently, as the RED Sniper locked the door, but it gave the RED Spy a shudder.

“What are ‘ou?” He said, still not turning to face the thing.

_I am Merasmus, and I need life._

“Well, get out of here. I have nothing for you-“

The brown figure wrapped around the Spy and shivered over his body, the glow in the air green and dark.

“HELP! HELP! AAAAGGGHHHH!”

Weird laughter echoed in the dark room, and when the RED Engineer opened the door with Nicholas, they found no trace of the spy. The longer they searched, the more they believed that the man had abandoned his job, and they put in a request for a new RED Spy.

 

 

 


End file.
